i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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