oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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