i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
