Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
