Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
