Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
