I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
