I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
