I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
