Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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