He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
