dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I cut my penus on the lid.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
