I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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