Yo dont text me then not text me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
