Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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