After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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