Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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