Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
