dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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