She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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