So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
