it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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