I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
