there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
