He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My ATM looks so different sober.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
