Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
