We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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