she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
as a side note pls kill me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
