Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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