Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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