I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
