Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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