Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
