That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
