Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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