So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
