I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
