Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My vagina just clenched in fear
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
