I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
