my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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