if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
