No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
