ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
