sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
