HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
