omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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