I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
one two three fourrrrnication!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
