He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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