marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
