Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
