u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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