I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
