Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
