His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
