I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
