we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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