god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
