Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
