Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize