So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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