Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
