youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
